Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize