Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
