OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
