On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
