was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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