i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
