my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
