"it" just moved
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
where am i from again
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
