why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
