If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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