Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize