I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You smell like stripper and shame
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
