i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
