Your tits are I can't wait for
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
