Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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