: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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