ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We got so high we made milksteak
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Randomize
