i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
