the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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