Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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