ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
