Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
