plz talk dirty to me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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