Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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