Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
nutella sex= disaster
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize