Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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