How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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