I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
