how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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