you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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