I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You are a booty call, not a friend.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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