Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
