I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
