In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
