Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
