so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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