My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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