Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize