dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
