Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
