Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
