Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Damn victory sex feels great
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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