you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize