just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
