Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize