I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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