how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
