I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
