he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm at about main and main street
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
