it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
