I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
