Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
