I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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