My first STD was from a foam party
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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