If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
