Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize