somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have aggressive nipples.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
