Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
