I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
