did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
