Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
