I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
