ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
