Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
