He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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