I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
