i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
