I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize