I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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