its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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