Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
