It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
