I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
